One of the things I'm struggling with a bit, and probably always will, is the warped way I see portions. The way an anorexic sees herself in the mirror as a mega fatty....that is the way I see my food portions. Not all the time but every now and then it sneaks up on me and I really have to struggle to overcome it. Being overweight is (although most people wouldn't think so) and eating disorder in many ways. I didn't WANT to be obese, I DID NOT DO IT ON PURPOSE! I get so tired of judgemental folks who throw out their, 'just eat less' 'you brought this on yourself' 'you must not have any self control, how hard it is to not eat to much?' crap for the world to have to listen too. I get ahead of myself though. Let me explain what I was originally talking about.
Example: I made tuna casserole for dinner last night. I use my favorite 9x9 casserole dish and its perfect because we get 9 easy to divide up servings. 6pts per serving. Steve and I usually each eat 2 since we don't have anything along with is as a side dish..I'm cool with 12pts for dinner cuz, um, my tuna casserole rocks big time! Anyway, that leaves 2 double portions in Glad containers for lunch the next day and 1 serving split between the kids. So today I pull out my container to pop in the microwave. I pop off the lid and my very first thought was, 'geesh what else can I eat, there is barely anything in there!' Normally I dump the contents onto a plate or into a bowl to eat, part of my need to see it spread out so I can see that the portion is actually quite a lot. Today I didn't want to mess with another dirty dish so I ate it right out of the container, all the while pondering what to eat to add to my lunch. Well guess what, I didn't eat anything else. By the time I finished I was very satisfied...because DUH THAT WAS A DOUBLE PORTION THAT WAS PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE LAST NIGHT ON A PLATE!!!
It was yet another reminder that while I feel in control of this whole weight loss thing most of the time, I still have some quirks in my brain that will throw up little road blocks here and there as I go. I'm figuring out ways around the blocks, detours if you will. I may need a little snack once the kids go nap but I've got cheese and grapes all planned out for that :)
You are doing such a great job of really thinking your decision through, planning ahead, and seeing both your areas of strength and areas that you're still figuring out. I'm sooooooo proud of you!
ReplyDeleteLife if full of road blocks, detours, and general impediments, and it sounds like you're doing a great job of maneuvering around what life throws at you.
Keep up the AWESOME work!