10 POUNDS!!!

I'm so excited!!!  I've been doing so well and I'm thrilled to not only have hit 10lbs tonight but to flown right by!  I've lost 12.2lbs so far and I'm already noticing the difference in my pants.  I promise I will right more about this later, my laptop battery is about to die :)

Food Doesn't Heal A Broken Heart

Tonight was my second weigh in, not surprising to be it was a very small victory, just .4lb on the scales.  This was a rough weekend.  It was rough because I am a stress eater, I don't overeat I just tend to make very poor choices when I'm upset, stressed out, hurting...emotional.  To say I was emotional this weekend wouldn't even begin to describe it.

We are all aware that Friday morning a horrific and tragic event took place in Newtown, CT.  26 people were gunned down inside an elementary school, 20 of the victims were 6 and 7 year old 1st graders.  Words can't be summoned to aptly express how this event has effected me.  I'm heartbroken for those babies who's lives have been cut short, devastated for the families left behind of not just the victims but the survivors.  Those children who lived through this event will forever be scarred by its trauma.  I have been crying since the news hit Friday morning and I doubt I will stop anytime soon.  This is especially hard for me because of how close to home it is.  My baby, my son, is turning 6 this Thursday.  With unruly hair and a missing front tooth, my child will be celebrating his birthday tomorrow at a local bounce house with almost everyone of his classmates.  I will take every bit of control I have to get through it without thinking about those babies who will never have another birthday.  Without looking around at the 20 screaming, shouting, goofy kids and thinking......this could have been them.  At the same time, feeling a little bit guilty that my family is whole, will celebrate birthdays and holidays, that I can yell at my kids for fighting or leaving toys out to be stepped on.

So I made bad choices.  I fell back on old habits and tried to let the food heal my breaking heart.  It doesn't work.  In the end it just adds to the emotion of guilt, that I ate the cookies when I shouldn't have or didn't track anything at all on Friday.  I didn't start out with the intention of making this such a sad and emotional post.  I suppose its therapeutic to get it out in words what I've been thinking and feeling.  I went to the gym tonight and did 50 minutes on the elliptical and it made me feel good, something I needed to lift me back up a little bit.  I've got a plan mapped out for this week and I'm going to do my best to stick with it.

First Weigh In!!!

That's right people!  This girl here lost 6lbs her first week!  WOOT WOOT!!!!  I can only say that this is the BEST first week weigh in I've EVER had.  Staying on points was so easy and I love seeing how many calories I'm burning on that elliptical every time.  Who knew I would enjoy exercise and I know that it is going to make my weight fly off so much faster.  I am so glad that I started in December too because I won't have to make 'lose weight' my New Years resolution, I'm already doing it!  This year I'm going to find something new to challenge myself to ;)

So, its a short one today but that's okay, I have celebrating to do!!!!  (I'm buying myself some new workout clothes!)

Nearly 1 week down

I am doing fantastic!  I'm so proud of myself, I've jumped in with both feet and am taking off.  The food part is easy, it should be since I've done it a bazillion times.  I made it to the Y 4 times last week and that is what I'm proud of.  3 of those days were 45 minutes on the elliptical and one was weight training with our trainer.  We have a few free sessions with a trainer and we're taking full advantage of them.

I'm really looking forward to Monday night.  I've worked harder this first week than I ever have and I'm excited to see what the scale says.  At the same time I'm being realistic and keeping in mind that when you start working out your muscles tend to retain water, its part of how they repair themselves and build up, so if its just a teeny loss I'm okay with that because I know it will catch up eventually.

Who knew I could do that?

So, I've decided to try and get to the gym 4-5 days during the week and then take the weekends off to recoup and relax.  We'll see how this pans out in the long run.  I have been EXHAUSTED every day and have taken a nap most everyday this week after working out.  I'm looking forward to that passing and the big burst of energy to carry me through the day.  I'm trying to make sure and eat a protein snack within half an hour of my workout to help with that.

So, I guess that's it.  I don't have much to say, just 2 more days until that first weigh in and I can't wait!

Starting On The Right Foot

I have started WW many many times, and had success a couple of times, but I've never EVER done it along with exercise.  Sure I did a free 6 week trial of Curves and really liked the feeling of having accomplished something, but that evil E word never really happened.

This time around I'm starting things off right, with EXERCISE!  Steve and I joined the YMCA when he got back from his deployment and part of the membership is 8 free weeks with a trainer to learn how all the machines work and to set up a good workout routine.  I started doing the bike and quickly found out that I got a much better workout on another one of those horrid E-words...the ELLIPTICAL!  I tell you I was scared to death of that thing, heard horror stories etc and once I started doing it I LOVE IT.  Okay well nobody loooooves working out but I love the feeling of pride and 'hell yeah!' that I get when I climb off all shaky kneed and sweaty.  Not to mention the huge amount of calories you burn!

Side View before pic (all sweaty, ewww)

Before Pic front view

It's not pretty but it feels great!  This was me, yesterday, after 45 minutes on the elliptical.  I thought about cutting it short around the 20 minute mark. Told myself that 30 minutes was still a great workout and it was a good start after being gone from the gym for so long.  However, when 30 minutes rolled around I kicked myself in the butt and make myself keep going...GO ME!

I am doing great with my food, have my gym time all planned out for the week and am feeling so positive about this!  Oh and my girl is helping me with my first 'habit' of not leaving the house without a healthy snack, she brings me clementines every time we start to leave lol.  Thanks babe ;)

healthy snack with my girl after working out!

A New Beginning

So here we are, closing out 2012 and I find myself starting a journey that I've taken before but never reached the end of.  I joined Weight Watchers tonight...for the umpteenth time.  I want so badly for this to be it, the one that sticks, the one that changes my life.  I could have cried like a baby when I stepped on that scale and saw 298.8 BLAZING back at me.  How did this happen?  How did I ever let myself get to this point?  Little over a pound away from 300 pounds?  I felt a little part of me die in that moment.

 It's okay though because my internal paramedic got out the zapper pedals and shocked that little part back to life.  The part of me that has in some way given up on myself, on being thin and healthy and sexy.  The part that says, 'its ok if you didn't take a shower today, haven't worn make up in 5 years and ate the kids gummies when they weren't looking!  You are a stay at home mom, you deserve those gummies!'  Well guess what little part of me, its not ok and we aren't giving up and we start today.

It good, a good good good thing.  I'm not setting long term goals just yet.  I don't want to fall into the trap I always set for myself of 'hoping' to reach a certain goal by a certain time and when I don't make it I sabotage myself.  Nope, not gonna do it.  5lb, that is my first goal.  5 little pounds...I can do that!

Here's to a new year and a new attitude!

On Strike

Oh I'm in a sad sad place diet wise right now.  By diet I don't mean the evil 4 letter D word, I just mean my eating has not been Grade A this past week.  I am struggling really badly right now.  I had 2 pretty good weeks in a row that resulted in small gains....what the hell?!?!?!!?!?  So what happened after last weeks weigh in?

Yup you guessed it, my inner toddler is back and throwing one hell of a tantrum.  She hat a huge Italian meal, Chinese, a cupcake, some chocolate....over the span of week but still.  Not proud.  To say the very very least I'm just disappointed.

Today is the beginning of my week though and I vow to turn myself around starting today.  The countdown has begun to the BIG 3-0 and I really want to be closer to 50lb than 20.  Summer has KICKED MY BUCKET!   (thanks Megan, if you're reading this lol)

So, short post today, not much to say for myself as I hang my head in shame.  How is summer treating you?  This heat is killing me and I suspect it might have contributed a bit to the gain as I feel all swollen and yuck, despite drinking enough water to fill a pool.  Ok that might be a slight exaggeration but you get the point.

More later.

Get Your Head In The Game!

What the what????  You are probably wondering what the heck High School Musical has to do with this blog.  Right?  Well I will tell you!  The pics above are from a musical number about getting your head in the game.  Makes complete sense now right ;)

I ask you to bear bare be patient with me this week while we hit blog overload.  Another realization I've come to thank to a good friend, is that I've slacked big time in the blogging.  I have been in Plateau City (a weight loss reference to staying pretty stationery on the scales) for the past few months and it pissed me off.  I've spent  a lot of money on this program and shouldn't be screwing around when I know I have the drive, the ability and the need to make it happen.  In the beginning I blogged daily, sometimes multiple times daily and I was very successful.  I stayed on track, stayed accountable and was able to voice my feelings about this journey.  So I'm throwing myself full on back into blogging, no excuses...if I'm dormant for heavens sake CALL ME ON IT!  Shoot me an email, send me a text, leave me a not so nice comment on one of my posts about how LAZY I've gotten!  I may not like you right away if you are too mean but the point will get across.  Towards the end of the year I have a busy schedule so it will get harder but I need to keep going.  Just like tracking, blogging seems to be a tool I can't do without right now.

So feel free to not read everything that comes across your feed, my feelings won't be hurt at all.  I promise I'll have new pix and measurements and all that stuff soon!

My Eyes and My Brain Aren't Speaking

One of the things I'm struggling with a bit, and probably always will, is the warped way I see portions.  The way an anorexic sees herself in the mirror as a mega fatty....that is the way I see my food portions.  Not all the time but every now and then it sneaks up on me and I really have to struggle to overcome it.  Being overweight is (although most people wouldn't think so) and eating disorder in many ways.  I didn't WANT to be obese, I DID NOT DO IT ON PURPOSE!  I get so tired of judgemental folks who throw out their, 'just eat less' 'you brought this on yourself' 'you must not have any self control, how hard it is to not eat to much?' crap for the world to have to listen too.  I get ahead of myself though.  Let me explain what I was originally talking about.

Example: I made tuna casserole for dinner last night.  I use my favorite 9x9 casserole dish and its perfect because we get 9 easy to divide up servings.  6pts per serving.  Steve and I usually each eat 2 since we don't have anything along with is as a side dish..I'm cool with 12pts for dinner cuz, um, my tuna casserole rocks big time!  Anyway, that leaves 2 double portions in Glad containers for lunch the next day and 1 serving split between the kids.  So today I pull out my container to pop in the microwave.  I pop off the lid and my very first thought was, 'geesh what else can I eat, there is barely anything in there!'  Normally I dump the contents onto a plate or into a bowl to eat, part of my need to see it spread out so I can see that the portion is actually quite a lot.  Today I didn't want to mess with another dirty dish so I ate it right out of the container, all the while pondering what to eat to add to my lunch.  Well guess what, I didn't eat anything else.  By the time I finished I was very satisfied...because DUH THAT WAS A DOUBLE PORTION THAT WAS PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE LAST NIGHT ON A PLATE!!!

It was yet another reminder that while I feel in control of this whole weight loss thing most of the time, I still have some quirks in my brain that will throw up little road blocks here and there as I go.  I'm figuring out ways around the blocks, detours if you will.  I may need a little snack once the kids go nap but I've got cheese and grapes all planned out for that :)

Why I Hate Combining Buffets and WW

So today my husband had the day off and decided he'd really like to go to Hometown Buffet for lunch.  I slept through breakfast so I figured what the heck, I have plenty of points and I've done this before so I can make it work.  Now, like a good girl I started with a salad, lots of lettuce, peas, mushrooms and broccoli on top, just a teeny bit of egg and NO CROUTONS!  That's right, I went for the bacon bits and left my buttery, garlicky crunchy yumminess off and guess what...I didn't miss them at all.  I had light ranch and all was good.  Onto the actual food!

If you have been to a buffet recently then you'll understand this next part....their healthy selections are on the sucky side.  Sure they have green beans....swimming in a vat of buttery water (not to mention they are cooked until almost mushy and are usually an unnatural shade of brown green), baby carrots (I do actually eat those but we all know they aren't a FREE veggie) and today a very soggy assortment of zucchini and squash.  How do I handle this?  Does it get the better of me???? NO WAY BUFFET!  I ate the following...

• 1/4c mac n cheese
• 1 fish stick (more the size of a chicken strip)
• 1/2c white rice
• 1/2c orange chicken (not the healthiest but its actually quite good)
• 4oz of lemon pepper baked white fish...super yummy!
• baby carrots
• salad!!!!!!!!!!!!
• 1/3c of chocolate pudding for dessert

So, as you can see I 'sampled' my way around instead of loading my plate like a glutton and snarfing down uncountable amounts of crap.  To be honest, I didn't even finish most of the servings I gave myself, a few bites here a few there and then onto something else.  All in all I used 18 points...not bad considering I let myself have a dessert and there was a bit of Chinese food in there.  Now fab but hey, its eating out at a BUFFET, its not going to be low points.

Now you are probably thinking...okay she sounds like she did okay so why does she hate it so much?  Well I'll tell you.  It's actually sort of a twisted and complicated emotion I have for buffets while doing WW.  I don't feel like I eat enough to justify the cost, then I feel guilty about wasting money and have to battle myself not to get another plate and load up just to make sure I eat my dollars worth.  Crazy right?  We eat out more than we should, I know this, but at least when I get a meal at one of our usual places (yes my lovelies, Wendy's is one of our usual places) I know the points up front and feel like the cost to fulfillment ratio is right. 

I am probably all alone out here feeling that way, and you may be feeling a little let down that I didn't have some awesome train wreck of a story...sorry if my title was misleading ;)  but I feel better having faced one of my fatty demons and come away with a little peek into how my 'fat girl brain' works.  I will not let myself eat more than I want just to feel better about the cost.  Buffets make me feel guilty about that.  Buffet, I think we need to break up.  The End.

Oh My Avocado!

I so love when I discover a food that, previously, I might have claimed not to like (without ever trying usually) and it turns out that I really like it.  Avocados are a perfect example.  I got brave and tried a friends sushi (california roll actually) and with it, avocado, for the first time about a year ago.  I've been hook on sushi ever since and have eaten much avocado that way but not any other.  A few weeks back I got a super yummy salad at a local restaurant that had sliced avocado on it and it was the best thing I've ever eaten!  So I got the great idea last week to recreate this salad at home, thus able to control the ingredients and points value a little better...not to mention its so much cheaper!  I wish I'd have thought to get a picture but it was so good I gobbled it up to fast each time.  Want to make your own?  I'll show you everything I used :)

I've been using Spring Mix lately and love how colorful and tasty it is

 

I use about 1/2 of a medium size avocado, diced or sliced

I've found precooked and sliced grilled chicken in the deli section at Target, very yummy and ready to go out of the package

I only use about 1/2oz because these yummies are higher in points.  You could sub in sliced almonds as well.

Bacon bits...need I say more?

You could do any variation of ingredients, cranberries, fruits, cheese...whatever!  It's all yummy :)  I like the combo above because it's satisfying and crunchy.  I top it off with a few tbsp or Asiago Peppercorn dressing and voila!  I could eat this everyday and never get bored.  Because the avocado is creamy I find I don't have to use as much dressing, the creaminess covers the lettuce and I get the 'appearance' of tons of dressing without the tons of points.  SCORE!

Oh YES I did!

Is that big enough for you?  Does it drive the point home? 

Tomorrow is my 6th wedding anniversary and I didn't want to spend half the day away from my other half, so I weighed in this morning instead.  Not only did I lose the few pounds I needed to hit my 24lb loss, I went over by .4lb!  Hells to the yeah!  I was really good this week, still had a few yummies here and there but really ate to the boxes....also known as eating the healthy stuff and leaving the doritos alone.

I can't wait to tell my leader next week!  I am only 2.6lb away from my 10% and I am going to work just as hard this week to reach that goal next weekend.  It is long overdue and much anticipated.

Now I'm keeping this short as my littlest little has strep and has been a bear today and this tired momma needs sleep.  

Hooray for success!!!

Nothing Is Impossible

 

Today was weigh in day, down -1.2lb!  Wahoo!  I'm on track and feeling good.  I had a few weeks of slight ups and slight downs, a plateau of sorts.  After a mental makeover I've got my groove back and I'm working the plan like its meant to be worked.

Last night I was at Target and I saw this ring.  It was perfect for me.  It says everything that I need to remember....nothing is impossible.  If you want something bad enough it can happen, with hard work and determination. 

I told my husband that my shorts from the last 2 summers were so big and loose they were bordering on indecent, lol.  So tonight we went shopping!  I found a new pair of shorts and a really cute top....in an 18/20!  I'm so excited since the shorts that were falling off were 24's.  Wanna see?  :)

What the %$&*!!!!

So, because its a holiday weekend we don't have our regular WW class this week.  I didn't want to miss my weigh in though so I went to one of the WW centers for open weigh in.  I stepped on that scale, incredibly optimistic because I followed to the letter this week.  I didn't use any of my extra points and made sure not to miss my meds all week.

I step up and.... I lost a stinking -.4lb.  To say I was disappointed would be an understatement.  The receptionist tried to make me feel better by reminding me that it was 2 sticks of butter, my first instinct was to tell here where to stick that butter.  See, when I'm upset its better to just let me simmer for a bit, reassurance and 'its ok, its still a loss' just piss me off.  Not flattering I'm sure but it's how I am.  I called my husband on my way home and just bawled to him on the phone.  Now the logical side of my brain knows that its all a loss even if its small and it adds up over time, but the other part of me was just devastated.  I wanted that 25lb loss today, I earned it, I was desperate for it...and I didn't get it.  Like a kid not getting the doll they REALLY wanted on Christmas morning.  Oh well, maybe I'll get the doll for New Years instead.

So, my first reaction to this bad news?  You got it, FOOD TANTRUM!  Oh how I hate that.  I hate that I still want to throw in the towel because of one, not even bad, weigh in.  I got a sweet tea from McDonalds, and a hashbrown, and flipped the bird to my tracker.  Then after a few minutes I got my tracker, apologized and wrote down my points for my less than stellar tantrum breakfast. 

It's ok, it's ok, it's ok, IT'S OKAY!!!!!!  Long weekend ahead of me and I'm not going to let this get me down.  Sorry for the rant but I do feel much better :)

Choo Choo.....Chuggin Right Along!

Once again, I hop on here and realize how very far I've fallen behind with my blogging.  Someone give me a kick in the pants!  It has been a very busy month though.  Those of you who know me well know that I have my own business and 3 out of the last 4 weekends were spent at local craft shows.....NOT WORTH IT!  UGH, no more spring shows for me, they just don't draw the crowds...but that is for another blog.

I am proud to say I lost another 1.8lb this past week for a grand total of 23lb!  I'll post my pounds in food pic in a bit but lets just say I'm dancing on the inside...and out a little bit!  I am right on track to get that 25lb charm this week (tomorrow actually!) and am going to KICK SERIOUS ASS the next week because I'll only need 3 more little tiny pounds to hit 28lb and my 10% goal!  I had hoped to reach it about a month ago but....life happens.  I am realistic in realizing that part of life and weight loss is to have a few setbacks, its about the long term journey.

I cannot wait to get that keychain!!!  I can almost feel it in my hand.  Wouldn't you know, just 2 more little pounds after that and I'll reach 30lb gone.  It's amazing, all these little milestones about to happen and I'm so excited about each and every one.  I'm down a dress size WOOT WOOT and feeling all around better.  I am taking a trip to Disney in December and CANNOT wait to see how much better I fit in all those rides!

Now, here's the big news.  My 30th birthday is exactly 4 months from today.  My dream of all dreams would be to be down 50lb by then.  It has taken me 4 months to lose 25lb and had several weeks in there of setbacks or flat out self sabotage....if I get on a role I KNOW I can make this happen.  Will you all stick around to help me get there?  Because I need help.  DO YOU HEAR ME UNIVERSE??? I NEED HELP!!!  I thrive on compliments and motivation, tell me my face or butt look smaller and I'm like a sunflower turning towards that giant ball of light in the sky.  You may not know I've had a tough day but asking me about my journey and encouraging me to keep going can make a crappy day into the best day ever.  So yes, to be blunt, I'm on my knees begging and pleading asking for the compliments!  Keep 'em coming.

We are going to be visiting both families this weekend and it is my goal, my mini goal for the holiday weekend, to stay on track.  Here is how....

•  I will track every bite/sip I take, everything....EVERYTHING
• I will NOT snack in the car...I will crochet instead
• I will not be pressured into eating junk I don't want or need...if I want it then I will use my flex points
• I will pack my pants that I'm just fitting back into so I don't over eat
• I will look damn good doing it!

I hope you all have a happy and healthy and safe weekend.  Do not drink and drive, watch out for crazies and enjoy the time with your families :)

Enter Spaghetti Squash!

So here we go!  I headed to the store tonight and purchased my very first spaghetti squash.  To be honest, I didn't even know where to look for it!  HA!  I mean, I knew it was in the produce but I'd avoided anything gourd-like my whole life so I always kind of looked over that aisle.  I got a nice sized one and headed home.

I read about 2 easy ways to prepare it: in the oven or in the microwave.  Both were suppose to produce the same quality and texture with the microwave just being a bit faster.  I figured, if I have to cut the thing in half I should just try both methods for comparison!  I also decided on 3 different 'finished products' to try....
        1) with marinara sauce 
        2) with pesto sauce  and 
        3) with olive oil and salt and pepper

Here is what I came up with.

That sucker was not easy to chop in half!  It was easy to clean out though :)  Into the microwave with you!

About 10 minutes later and voila!  It turned into 'noodles' just like it was supposed to.  I have to say I got a little giddy.

 

I tried a bit with the pasta sauce and it was really quite good.  Then I tried a bit  with some pesto, which I totally love on regular pasta, added a sprinkle of mozzarella and some grated parmesan and HOLY COW!!!  That was super good and will probably be a new favorite lunch for me.  Stella helped me scarf this down after she'd already eaten all of her own dinner.

Next came the oven method.  I saw a recipe to rub it with olive oil then sprinkle with salt and pepper then place it cut side down and cook away...so I did :)

Tell me that doesn't look good!  I had some of this with some spray butter and S&P and it was very very good.  I'll definitely be making this again!

I have to say, while a lot longer to prepare, I think I prefer the oven method.  It was cooked consistently all the way through and every single bit came right out of the skin.  In the microwave the inside was soft but the closer to the skin was still crunchy so I just popped it back in for a few extra minutes.

So, to wrap it up...very yummy and will make again!

WW Homework : Try New Things

So.......I only blogged 2 times in April....LAME!  In my defense I spent the ENTIRE MONTH horribly horribly sick with this nasty, icky, mucusy, broncitisy type yuck.  Throw in my daughters 2nd birthday at the end of the month and it just slipped right by me.  I am still here though, still chugging along.  I roller coastered up and down the same pound most of the month so no big news there but some was medicine related (water retention) and some was just plain old comfort eating.

Onto some fun stuff now.  We had homework this week for WW, to try a new food.  Something we have always wanted to try or maybe been afraid to try, or had never even heard of before!  Just something, ANYTHING new.  I have always been a super picky eater, but I'm finding that as I've gotten older I am more willing to try new things, especially since many of things these I thought I didn't like I actually love!!!  Sushi, avocado, pesto, hummus....need I go on? 

Anyway, I got excited and decided to try spaghetti squash.  I have heard good things about it but squash is not something we ever had in our house growing up so I assumed I didn't like it.  I asked my friends for recipes, and googled then headed to the store.  I am so happy to say that I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!  Agg where have you been all my life?  I have so much to say that I am writing a separate post about it!  I also got edemame and gave that a try, yummy and crunchy and totally something I plan on keeping on hand for snacking. 

Yay for trying new things!!!

20lb Pictures

I finally got around to having Steve take my pictures for my 20lb loss.  I'll stick them in the progress pictures page too, its fun to look and see if you can see any differences  :)

Week 13 Weigh In BIG TIME NEWS

Once again I find myself playing catch up.  I have a legitimate reason for being AWOL however, I have been SICK!  What the Urgent Care doctor believed on Wednesday to just be 'a bad cold' turned into an upper respiratory, lung hacking up nightmare.  I am coughing up crap finally but for 2 days have just been miserable with the dry coughing that never ends.  So anyway, here are the last 2 weigh ins!

Week 12 Weigh In : -1.4lb for the week and a total of -16.6lb.  Yay me!  That was great to see after the disappointing trip related gain the week before.

Week 13 Weigh In : -3.8lb.....if you're fast with your math then you'll realize what that means before I can type it!  That's right folks, -20.4lbs total!  I HIT MY 20 LBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  That is such a huge excitement for me.  It always seems like after that first 20lb is gone I really start to fly.  I'm seeing results both in my naked body and in my clothing, I'm getting positive feedback from others on how they can see the difference and my cheer section went wild with excitement for me yesterday when I posted my loss on Facebook.  I'm so so happy!  Especially since that means I'm only 8lb away from my 10% goal.  It felt like I'd never get there and now I'm so close.  I want that keychain and I want it bad!!!  I'm hoping to reach that goal by Mother's Day, that gives me somewhere around a month.  In 3 weeks I'll get my Sticking With It (16 weeks on plan) charm and somewhere in the next couple weeks I'll hit 25lb and get my first metal circle charm for my keychain.  SO SO SO EXCITING!  My blog will be ablaze with happy posts :)  For now I will leave you with this.  This is what I see when I log onto etools and track my weigh ins.  Isn't it fun seeing that line go down down DOWN?!

I'm here I'm here!

Wow, 2 weeks without a post, that's soooo not like me! It's been busy and sucky and I just haven't had time or felt like it but lets play catch up.

Week 10 WI: up 1.8lb, not a super big surprise. We had a formal dinner event the night before for hubby's work, and while I had the points and planned ahead we did not have enough fluids that evening. There was 1 pitcher of water for the table which was never refilled. Needless to say, we had to stop for a diet soda on the way home because I was PARCHED! I could tell that I was retaining water from the dinner (and 1 cocktail I indulged in) because my feet were quite swollen after the hour long car ride home. I did however, look smoking hot lol. Would you like to see?



So, the following week I watched closely and after about 2 days the extra weight slid right off plus some. I watched and counted and stayed on track know that the following weekend would be spent on the road and out of town for a friends wedding. I had unrealistic high hopes that since the bride to be was also doing WW, as well as a good friend driving with me, that food choices would be made keeping that in mind.  I had also planned to weigh in early but the meeting times didn't work out for me and I missed it :(  I was very sad about that.

The drive there and back was quite successful, Erin and I made smart choices, packed wisely and made sure to have plenty of water and diet soda on hand to keep hydrated.  It all sort of crashed and burned when we arrived Thursday night.  Do to an hour time difference, we ended up eating dinner around 7:30 Missouri time which was 8:30 our time, we were starving.  The bride to be lives in a itsy bitsy teensy weensy little town that had very limited options for eating at that time of day.  The place we went was super cute and the food was great but being exhausted and starving and a lack of healthy options on the menu I fell into bad habits (as did Erin I'm afraid) and got an appetizer sampler.  I wrote it all down, each and every bite, but haven't been brave enough to figure out that meals points yet lol.

Friday was an incredibly busy and stressful day.  McDonald's breakfast (need i say more?), a higher point lunch (there WAS a grilled chicken on the menu but it didn't sound appetizing so I got fried shrimp...slaps head) followed by rehearsal dinner.  Now I at a SUPER HUGE TON of fresh veggies at dinner and removed the crunchy fried skin from my piece of chicken breast, but I couldn't quite say no to that delicious looking brownie.  SIGH  At this point I was just thoroughly disgusted with myself.  I vowed to not throw it all away just because I was on a trip and things would be hectic.  I blew it.  Lesson learned though, I haven't come as far as I thought I had and realize now that outside of my comfort zone I still need a little work.

Saturday could have been much much worse but because of circumstances out of my control (we weren't given a chance to eat lunch in all the disasters that happened leading up to the walk down the aisle) I only had eaten 4pts worth of food by the time we finally got to eat dinner.  The groom is Korean and his dad is friends with the owner of a local Chinese restaurant, so they served sweet and sour chicken, beef and broccoli, rice, egg rolls and crab rangoons.  GRRROOOOOAAAAANNNNNN!  Ah!!  Chinese food is like kryptonite to me!  I could eat sweet and sour chicken until the cows flew over the moon and not get tired of it.  I was very impressed with myself though.  I had equally smallish amounts of both choices, about a cup of white rice and 3, YES 3, crab rangoons.  I shudder to think of how many more than could have been if they hadn't run out.  By the time I helped cut and serve the cake though, I had absolutely no desire for it and ate about 2 bites of my super skinny piece that I had soooo been looking forward to and saving my points for.  Again, I looked good though :)

My body had reached its 'crap' limit after that and took its revenge with a 3 day long disgustingly horrible stomach and intestinal revolt.  I'm telling you, I felt SICK SICK SICK!  So, now you know.  Do not fall off the wagon like that or the gas and cramps you feel for days after may well kill you, lol.

Since Sunday morning though, and our return home, I've done great.  Keeping right on track, used about 1/2 of my weeklies trying to real myself back in, but feeling much better.  I've been drinking water like a camel, hoping to flush out the salt and ick from my system and feel like I'm back where I should be.  The scale is kindly telling me that I'm at least where I was before leaving so that's excellent.  I have my fingers crossed and my carrots cleaned and cut and ready to eat.  Next time I'm in a situation out of my normal routine I will fare much better.  I was so close to that 20lb I could just cry for not keeping that goal in mind.

I'm not at all in danger of quitting or giving up.  This just makes me more determined to lose the weight and keep going.  Check back Saturday as I will once again be at weigh in and here to share the results of this 2 week roller coaster ride!